Fellow colleagues, do you ever feel like you need to be the perfect therapist? I used to.
I cared a lot about outcomes—about getting things "right," about fixing things, about moving sessions forward. But the truth is, that focus often pulled my attention away from where the client actually was, and put it on what I wanted to feel, like competence, validation, or reassurance that I wasn't disappointing anyone, including myself.
Over time, I realized that under perfectionism often lies fear, insecurity, and a need for validation. So instead of chasing perfection, I started an inner dialogue with myself—processing those feelings, noticing them, and letting myself be present.
As I kept practicing that, the need for control and perfection started to ease. What replaced it wasn't complacency, but openness, curiosity, and real connection in the room. I also became kinder to myself when I felt triggered, distracted, or fatigued, and more willing to apologize when I made a mistake.
Now, after tough sessions, I sometimes tell myself: "You did what you could. That's enough."
I'm still learning—but letting go of perfection has helped me settle into being a good enough therapist, and the work feels more grounded and real this way.
Curious if this resonates with you.